RichTig
Posts:0
 | | 01/23/2008 8:47 AM |
 Alert | I was out hiking the other day and an angel appeared to me and told me where to find some Seer Stones and Gold Plates. I am currently translating the plates.
Our new church is "The Church of Jesus Christ of Current Day Saints" or CDS for short.
This Current version of the newest Testament will supersede all others, at least thats what the angel told me.
Please send your 10% tithe to me, ASAP. You do want to go to heaven, don't you?
Make your checks out to: Church Accepts & Sends to Heaven, 'CASH' for short.
God Bless
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RichTig
Posts:0
| | 01/23/2008 1:20 PM |
Alert | I have been translating the plates as fast as I can.
It will cost $200 to join the new church. But, when you get others to join underneath you, you get $20 of their $200. And when they get people joining under them, then you get $10 from those people.
So, the more people you get involved, the moremoney everyone makes.
The 10% tithe still goes to the church. | | | |
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rex
Posts:295
| | 01/23/2008 1:43 PM |
Alert | Can't afford it. Besides I'm doomed to Hell anyway. The Bible says if you gather wood on a Sunday, the townspeople should drag you to the outskirts of town and stone you to death.
So, anyone who grocery shops, golfs, mows the lawn, (or gathers wood for a fire) on a Sunday instead of worship is doomed to eternal brimstone fire damnation in Hell.
See everyone in Hell. I'll turn the light on and warm it up for you. | | | |
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RichTig
Posts:0
| | 01/23/2008 1:49 PM |
Alert | You haven't read the Current Testament of Jesus Christ.
It says "Sunday is the day to relax and recover from Saturday night. Feel free to sleep in , do yardwork, golf, shop or whatever trips your trigger". | | | |
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drummer72
Posts:3610
| | 01/23/2008 1:50 PM |
Alert | | Is this a spoof on the Mormons? | |
"Everything for everyone and nothing for ourselves" | |
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rex
Posts:295
| | 01/23/2008 1:54 PM |
Alert | Posted By RichTig on 01/23/2008 1:49 PM
You haven't read the Current Testament of Jesus Christ.
It says "Sunday is the day to relax and recover from Saturday night. Feel free to sleep in , do yardwork, golf, shop or whatever trips your trigger".
Wow, where can I found out more about the Current Testament?
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RichTig
Posts:0
| | 01/23/2008 1:55 PM |
Alert | NO.
If people can believe their version, then I think mine is just as valid.
You just need to have faith
Praise Be | | | |
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missPolitick
Posts:644
| | 01/24/2008 8:54 AM |
Alert | That is astonishingly rude.
LDS people don't put down the religion of others. | |
Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just A Rat In A Cage | |
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ChimneyDuck
Posts:230
| | 01/24/2008 9:16 AM |
Alert | Perhaps they should.
When everyone starts questioning others beliefs, perhaps it will be clear that all the major religions have the same common thread, and perhaps then everyone can agree on the common thread. | |
http://www.maricopabikeclub.com - Join us for a bicycle ride. | |
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missPolitick
Posts:644
| | 01/24/2008 9:25 AM |
Alert | | You can question someone else's beliefs without putting them down, belittling them, and acting like a jerk. | |
Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just A Rat In A Cage | |
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Family Guy
Posts:198
| | 01/24/2008 9:35 AM |
Alert | Posted By missPolitick on 01/24/2008 9:25 AM
You can question someone else's beliefs without putting them down, belittling them, and acting like a jerk.
That is true missPolitick. But I don't think this thread is too far south. If this really makes you uncomfortable, how comfortable can you be with your religion? Do you think the LDS really need you to come save them from a couple of jokes about their churches history? I'll bet the majority found it pretty funny.  | | | |
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missPolitick
Posts:644
| | 01/24/2008 9:41 AM |
Alert | | Maybe some did, maybe some didn't I don't really care. | |
Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just A Rat In A Cage | |
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Family Guy
Posts:198
| | 01/24/2008 9:43 AM |
Alert | Posted By missPolitick on 01/24/2008 9:41 AM
Maybe some did, maybe some didn't I don't really care.
Then why would you post | | | |
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missPolitick
Posts:644
| | 01/24/2008 9:53 AM |
Alert | | Because I (emphasis on I)thought it was rude. | |
Despite All My Rage I Am Still Just A Rat In A Cage | |
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djbaldwin
Posts:246
| | 01/24/2008 10:00 AM |
Alert | Posted By missPolitick on 01/24/2008 9:53 AM
Because I (emphasis on I)thought it was rude.
I agree. I haven't alway's been lds but I wouldn't be making fun of baptists or catholics like that. I'm not super offended I just find it funny that people will complain about lds people then say things more offensive. | |
"If everyone had the right priorities in life there would always be a shortage of fishing poles"
Mark Twain | |
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RichTig
Posts:0
| | 01/24/2008 4:05 PM |
Alert | The Current Testament says
"The Catholic Church is a false Church. Any church which condones and covers up Pedophilia, by its clergy, should no longer be considered a church of God".
"The Baptist Church is also a false Church. Your ministers can not have sex with male prostitutes and use meth, then say THE DEVIL MADE THEM DO IT and repent and be forgiven".
Both of these are now to be considered churches of the devil.
The Current Testament
1st Commandment: Be excellent to each other!
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JasonY
Posts:2581
| | 01/28/2008 8:24 AM |
Alert | | Will there be any Naked Crusades? j/k | |
"My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes" -- Lewis Black | |
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RichTig
Posts:0
| | 01/28/2008 9:47 AM |
Alert | Have you read the plates too?
Naked crusades are part of the CDS. | | | |
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JasonY
Posts:2581
| | 01/31/2008 9:34 AM |
Alert | | I thought you were atheist? Busted! | |
"My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes" -- Lewis Black | |
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RichTig
Posts:0
| | 01/31/2008 11:22 AM |
Alert | I was!
Until the angel came to me and told me about the seer stones and gold plates. He told me to translate the CURRENT word of god, because none of the religions have it right.
I am but the messenger for god's word.
Needless to say, I will have a place in heaven, by his side, while the rest of you burn for eternity. | | | |
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