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| | Author | Messages | |
Bionicbunny
Posts:513
 | | 09/25/2007 1:50 PM |
 Alert | <div class='NTForums_Quote'>Posted By Copa Conscious on 09/25/2007 12:26 PM
Why are you trying to ruin your son's vacation? You are just going to create bad feelings by making this a bigger deal than it is. Your SIL has no relation to your other kid and obviously she has no interest in spending time with her.
So, you can let your son have a great time or you can ruin it for everyone.
Blame it on all your different baby-daddies.</div>
It wont be ruining it for either of the kids if the 5 year old doesn't go, as long as you don't tell him about it. Why would you purposely hurt the older daughter? As far as the sister in law goes, shame on her, she should know better. But sometimes adults don't act like adults.
I do agree thought that having children with more than 1 guy has some serious down sides, especially for the kids! | | | |
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| | MommaToni
Posts:1045
| | 09/25/2007 2:25 PM |
Alert | yeah, but who's to say she had them out of wedlocd? Maybe she had one with a hubby then got divorced...
It does make it difficult on the children...that's why you have to make sure if you do go there again the next one is good for your 1st child too.
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Ppppppbbbbbbssssssssssttttttttt! | |
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| | Bionicbunny
Posts:513
| | 09/25/2007 8:52 PM |
Alert | <div class='NTForums_Quote'>Posted By MommaToni on 09/25/2007 2:25 PM
yeah, but who's to say she had them out of wedlocd? Maybe she had one with a hubby then got divorced...
It does make it difficult on the children...that's why you have to make sure if you do go there again the next one is good for your 1st child too.
</div>
Who cares if it was out of wedlock or divorce? Either way, it's a tough situation. I would think divorce would actually be worse for the child, especially if they can remember when mom and dad used to be together. Now, mom and dad move on and find another spouse and have another kid and it isn't their family anymore, it's the new babies family. Then if you get crappy new inlaws, like the one that this woman has, the poor kid from the first marriage is reassured that they aren't part of the "real" family. Very sad situation! All you can do is try extra hard to make it all fair to the kids and not give two craps about what the selfish, inconsiderate adults think. | | | |
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| | vzuniga
Posts:67
| | 09/26/2007 7:18 AM |
Alert | <div class='NTForums_Quote'>Posted By Copa Conscious on 09/25/2007 12:26 PM
<div class='NTForums_Quote'>Posted By vzuniga on 09/24/2007 1:06 PM
I just don't know what to do now that my sister-in-law and I have practically ruined our relationship that I thought was good, forever. I am so upset at the whole situation.
She is taking my son whom is 5 to Disneyland for like the 3rd time without even inviting my 10 yr old daughter, which is her step-niece. Before my son was born she did things with my daughter and then all of a sudden stopped.
Am I blowing this out of proportion or should I be upset? </div>
Why are you trying to ruin your son's vacation? You are just going to create bad feelings by making this a bigger deal than it is. Your SIL has no relation to your other kid and obviously she has no interest in spending time with her.
So, you can let your son have a great time or you can ruin it for everyone.
Blame it on all your different baby-daddies.</div>
Actually my son doesn't even know that he was invited and what he doesn't know doesn't hurt him. For you to say "Your SIL has no relation to your other kid and obviously she has no interest in spending time with her." is NOT right. Then she shouldn't have acknowledge her in the first place. She used to do all kinds of stuff with her like take her place, bonding time as a step-aunt, and then when my son was old enough forgot that she was even in our family.
Also you really don't know my history for having two different dads for my three kids. I am married now and have a family to take care of, thats what I am doing as far as defending my daughter.
Also she is an adult and she keeps telling me that its "unfair" for her, well she should know lifes not always fair and she can't get what she wants when she wants all the time.
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| | vzuniga
Posts:67
| | 09/26/2007 7:27 AM |
Alert | | Sorry for the double post.... | | | |
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| | vzuniga
Posts:67
| | 09/26/2007 7:27 AM |
Alert | <div class='NTForums_Quote'>Posted By My3AAAs! on 09/25/2007 11:44 AM
Does your Daughter have a relationship with her biological father? If so how does this affect your son?
I have an inherited niece through my husband that has 3 kids. One of her kids is by a different father than the other 2. Anyways, we all on my husbands side treats all three kids the same but the one that has a different father is completely spoiled by her real dad and his family. They shower her with tons of gifts and take her to cool places during the weekends that they have her. This of course makes the other 2 kids feel really bad but they have no connection or relationship with their older sisters father and family.
I personally have not had my kids away from me overnight since all of our families live out of state but I think it's not wrong to do have them stay with relatives on mini vacations if the parents and kids are comfortable with it.</div>
My daughter doesn't have a relationship with him or his 6 other kids or 5 different girlfriends.
He hasn't seen her for like 2 years. Hasn't even called her or anything and he has our phone #. Her great grandparents were REALLY great to her and since two Christmas' ago they haven't even called her but maybe three times in a year and even when we call them they try to hang up with her right away, they moved away to Oregon but that's all that has changed. She used to go visit them quite often. I feel sorry for her because she only has my family which treats her great. She does really well in school and always excited to share with everybody how good she is doing, so its not like she is a horrible child that no one would like to be around her!?!?
Anyway thanks for your input.
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|  | anewman
Posts:667
| | 09/26/2007 8:23 AM |
Alert | One question that hasn't been asked.
Does the sister in law have kids? If so what ages? Did the relationship change with your daughter once she had kids?
If she has one that between 4-7 than it might be okay for just your son to go. I had 4 siblings but there were times where only one of use got to go do something fun with one of our aunts/uncles but it was because one of us had a cousin the same age that we were close too.
If this is not the case than I would not let my son go either. If the sister in law has no kids and is treating your kids differently than she is in the wrong. I have "step" nieces & nephews but they are treated the same as my other nieces/nephews. My mom is a foster parent and those kids are treated just like nieces and nephews.
It is up to you to make the determination if it is okay or not and to explain it to your kids- you should not allow it to continue if you feel it is wrong.
Remember it is your actions that set the example for your kids. | |
"The jouney of life is as much in oneself' as the roads one travels"
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| | Sinbad
Posts:3033
| | 09/26/2007 8:38 AM |
Alert | <div class='NTForums_Quote'>Posted By JonAndAshly on 09/25/2007 11:24 AM
That is definitely not right that she is doing that. My mother is like that sort of. I had my son with my first husband and when we split up I stayed with her for a few months so now she says she has a "special bond" with him. I then got married and had my daughter. They are only 15 months apart but she treats my daughter so much differently than my son. She was at my son’s birth and when I had my daughter she wouldn’t even come to the hospital 5 miles away from her house to see her. She always calls to ask about my son but never my daughter. She does this because she doesn’t like my husband for stupid reasons. It’s really not fair that she treats my daughter differently though.
On the other side of the spectrum there is my mother in law. She is wonderful. She treats my son no differently even though he is not blood related to her. She treats my son and daughter exactly the same.
I think it is so sad to see children treated badly for reasons that are not their fault and that they can’t understand. It's just not right. I would really think of your daughter’s feelings and not let your son go. </div>
This would upset me greatly.... | |
Just doing it one day at a time. Change is good and it should be looked upon as an improvment! not a problem.
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