Mouwser
Posts:22
 | | 10/17/2007 7:08 AM |
 Alert | | Yesterday when I dropped my son off at day care, I was informed that the day before that the owner of the day care had acted out of line with disciplining my son. My son is 19 months old, had thrown a block, and the owner of the day care picked him up under his arms, held him in the air, shook him three times saying we don't throw blocks. She then put him down in time out. My mother in law picked him up and he has not been back since and today I'm looking for a new day care. Was the owner's actions out of line, or am I overreacting? | | | |
|
|
DesertNewbie
Posts:531
| | 10/17/2007 7:15 AM |
Alert | DEFINITELY out of line, if it happened.
May I ask, how did you learn of this? Obviously, your 19 month old can't talk. Who told you of this incident?
Too many kids die from Shaken Baby Syndrome. If this really happened the way you were told, you should not just pull your child out of that place, but call DHS to report them. | | | |
|
|
|
AuntieAnn
Posts:200
| | 10/17/2007 7:28 AM |
Alert | Hi! I just wanted to say that when you told me the story, I thought you should pull him out of that daycare, but I did not want to sound pushy I PM'd you | | | |
|
|
|
wolfpack..
Posts:228
| | 10/17/2007 7:51 AM |
Alert | | You are not over reacting at all, If the daycare provider shook your child over that, what else could he/she be capable of. | |
Senior Member
406 posts
Joined May 2005 | |
|
|
|
Mouwser
Posts:22
| | 10/17/2007 7:57 AM |
Alert | I found out about it because the other girl who was there working at the time came in early the next morning just to let me know about it. She has resigned from the day care because of the incident. I went to talk to the owner yesterday afternoon and it was only after I talked to her that I felt worse about the incident. She demonstrated to me on a bear or something that was there how she picked my son up and in my opinion shook him.
| | | |
|
|
|
"Miss Kerry"
Posts:305
| | 10/17/2007 8:27 AM |
Alert | I am very disturbed to hear about the situation that you recently experienced - your poor little guy having to go through that!(hugs) I think that the day care provider lost a valuable opportunity to get down on the level of the child and gently explain that "we don't throw blocks honey, that could hurt one of our friends" - after all little ones need to LEARN the appropriate way to behave from our example! Instead the provider set a really bad example - her behavior was completely inappropriate.
I wish you the best finding somewhere more suitable for your little boy. | |
If you haven't got anything nice to say - don't say anything at all! | |
|
|
 |
YZRacer
Posts:1580
| | 10/17/2007 8:31 AM |
Alert | RUN AWAY FROM THE DAYCARE!!!!!
That type of "discipline" is never okay! | |
If you can't spot the loser, it might be you
Senior Member
Posts: 665
Joined: Jun 2006 | |
|
|
|
pigsrule
Posts:115
| | 10/17/2007 9:10 AM |
Alert | | I am a provider and I think that is extremely uncalled for. I use timeout only and not very often because lets face it kids will be kids. Thats how they learn by making little mistakes. I am a mother and let me tell you if someone did that to my child well lets just say I would not be happy at all!!! Children start to learn their independance at that age and if you are constantly yelling at them they will withdrawn and not want to explore or learn. Don't make them fearful of new things guide them in the right direction. I have been doing home daycare for 3 years and I have had extreme discipline problems with kids but, come on their no angels but, show them love and show them the right way! | | | |
|
|
|
Sinbad
Posts:3018
| | 10/17/2007 9:18 AM |
Alert | <div class='NTForums_Quote'>Posted By DesertNewbie on 10/17/2007 7:15 AM
May I ask, how did you learn of this? Obviously, your 19 month old can't talk. Who told you of this incident?
.</div>
That's what I would like to know too! | |
Vote Carl and Marvin for City Council!.
Haddad and Dunn is why the City is catching "The Buss"
______________________________________
I guess there's always NEXT season! Go NYG!
***************************************
San Diego Super Chargers! GO!!!
Joined old forum March 2006
Post count: 3068 + these | |
|
|
|
drummer72
Posts:2858
| | 10/17/2007 10:16 AM |
Alert | It would be very hard for me to maintain my composure at a time like that.
Had I confronted the day care provider, I'd probably be in jail. | |
<--- Say his name anyway way you want, but it's pronounced(nov 08) Mr. President. | |
|
|
|
leefamily
Posts:0
| | 10/17/2007 12:12 PM |
Alert | | wow. just, wow. poor baby. I'd probably go there and shake her around a little, but I've got a temper! | | | |
|
|
|
Bionicbunny
Posts:409
| | 10/17/2007 12:48 PM |
Alert | It was very wrong (possilby illegal) for that caregiver to do that to your son. Did you turn her in?! You have taken your son out of that situation because you know what the provider is capable of, but what about the unsuspecting parents whos poor kids are still there? You should do what you can to prevent that or worse from happening to someone else.
Also I have to say, no one and I mean NO ONE will care for your child like you will. I imagine that it is hard to find a good care provider. I know many people who work in that profession do it because they love it and it was their calling in life but also many do it for so many other reasons that don't include 'because they love caring for and teaching children'. I know of 2 personally who didn't have the patience to be parents to their own children but wanted to be home and needed income. So.... they became certified and started a childcare out of their home. Not that it makes a huge difference to you but when my kids were small I switched jobs so I was home to care for them myself when my husband wasn't. I didn't trust anyone else to have soooo much influence over my childrens morals, vocabulary, eating habbits, etc.
Good luck. | | | |
|
|
|
lioness
Posts:51
| | 10/17/2007 7:08 PM |
Alert | | Make sure you call licensing and file a complaint. It needs to be on public record. I'm sure this isn't the first time it has happened to a child in her care and it won't be the last time either. | | | |
|
|
|
Mouwser
Posts:22
| | 10/17/2007 7:10 PM |
Alert | I did have intentions of alerting the authorities for the very reason that if I didn't and something happened to somebody else, I would not be able to live with myself without thinking about what if every single day. But my first priority was finding a new day care for my son which is what I spent most of today doing -- plus getting in a few hours of work while grandma played with him :-) When I got home this evening, I had a message from either a Tempe or Phoenix police detective wanting to ask me some questions about the incident. Apparently the other girl that was there, the one that told me of the incident, actually did follow through and report it. Since it's too late to call them now, I will do so tomorrow and follow through with all necessary reporting of the incident.
And to comment to some of the others, I do discipline my son when he needs it. Like somebody said earlier, she missed an opportunity to get on his level -- that is exactly what I do. I get down on his level, talk to him like he can understand me, and tell him why he cannot do something. It might take five minutes but he will usually end up saying okay. If he continues to do the act after that, it's time out for one minute -- two if it's really bad.
Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and your concern for my son.
| | | |
|
|
|
drummer72
Posts:2858
| | 10/18/2007 1:50 PM |
Alert | | It's times like this, where you have to take the law into your own hands. | |
<--- Say his name anyway way you want, but it's pronounced(nov 08) Mr. President. | |
|
|
|
nushdui
Posts:18
| | 10/18/2007 2:57 PM |
Alert | | I think the other parents should be informed also. I would want to know if my childcare person shook another child where my child goes. | | | |
|
|
|
My3AAAs!
Posts:109
| | 10/18/2007 3:52 PM |
Alert | That is wonderful that the one teacher was so proactive on notifying you and also alerting the authorities that you child was shook. I would be so furious if one of the teachers at my kids daycare did something like that. I would pull them from there faster than you can believe.
One of the things I like about the facility that I have my girls in, is that there are always 2 adults in each of the kids rooms at any given time. In addition, all the rooms have video cameras so that everyone at the front office can see what is going on in each of the rooms. If there is a rotten teacher (knock on wood that there is not) there would be so many witnesses to it that they would not be able to get away with it. I think that in itself is a great deterrent. That's part of the reason why I have them in an organized facility rather than an at home daycare (not to say that all of them are bad. I went to one as a kid and it was great but I like the knowledge that there are a lot more teachers to work with the kids and to keep an eye out on each other).
None of the kids have ever been spanked there. They are strictly put in time out. If time out doesn't work and they are getting becoming too much for the teachers in the room, the child is taken from the room and sent to the front office until they are calm enough to go back to their room.
Good luck on finding a new place for your little one. | | | |
|
|
|
DesertNewbie
Posts:531
| | 10/18/2007 6:41 PM |
Alert | Posted By Mouwser on 10/17/2007 7:10 PM
When I got home this evening, I had a message from either a Tempe or Phoenix police detective wanting to ask me some questions about the incident. Apparently the other girl that was there, the one that told me of the incident, actually did follow through and report it. Since it's too late to call them now, I will do so tomorrow and follow through with all necessary reporting of the incident.
Mouwser, how did your chat with law enforcement go today? Does it sound like something will be done? Please keep us posted.
Also, was this a local daycare? I'm guessing not since it was a Phoenix or Tempe detective.
| | | |
|
|
|
Mouwser
Posts:22
| | 10/18/2007 8:52 PM |
Alert | My chat with the detective was fairly short. She asked me what I knew to have happened and since I wasn't there at the time, I was unable to describe exactly what happened. All I was able to say is what was described to me. Basically she said there was not enough evidence to press criminal charges because there was no physical evidence of injury to my son. She did tell me that she would have to notify the department of health services and they would probably do their own investigation. Today I had a voice mail from the dhs but have not had a chance to call them yet as it was after 6 when I got home. I will talk to them tomorrow.
The day care is in Tempe. | | | |
|
|
|