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| | Author | Messages | |
Nickswebcamfriend
Posts:1292
 | | 07/09/2007 10:40 PM |
 Alert | QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME ????
Can you cry under water?
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How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
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Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
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What disease did cured ham actually have?
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How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out
it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
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If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
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Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
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Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
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Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,
which no decent human being would eat?
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If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,
why is there a stupid song about him?
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Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
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If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
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Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
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If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
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If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
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If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
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Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
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Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
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Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride,
he sticks his head out the window? | |
Who's using me, what should we do? Because you can't be a pimp and a prostitute too. - White Stripes
| |
| | Reagan
Posts:629
| | 07/10/2007 11:22 AM |
Alert | | Thank you. Very interesting and funny! | |
Ronald Reagan, 1992 convention Speech, "...we see all that rhetorical smoke, billowing out from the Democrats, well ladies and gentlemen, I'd follow the example of their nominee. Don't inhale.
This fellow they've nominated claims he's the new Thomas Jefferson. Well, let me tell you something. I knew Thomas Jefferson. He was a
friend of mine. And governor, you're no Thomas Jefferson. | |
|
| | MI_Mickey
Posts:699
| | 07/10/2007 2:21 PM |
Alert | | LOL! | |
Senior Member
Posts: 204
Joined: Apr 2007 | |
|
| | Nickswebcamfriend
Posts:1292
| | 07/10/2007 4:41 PM |
Alert | A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for
several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she told
him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or
his marriage, he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go
to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child,
he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She
agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep
it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write
"Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support
payments to begin.
One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
His wife said, "Honey, you received a very strange post card today."
"Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it," he said. The wife handed
him the card and watched as her husband read the card, turned
white and collapsed.
On the card was written: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Two with meatballs, one without! Request bread... | |
Who's using me, what should we do? Because you can't be a pimp and a prostitute too. - White Stripes
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|
| | Shogun
Posts:250
| | 07/10/2007 9:14 PM |
Alert | | LOL <img src='http://www.85239.com/desktopmodules/ntforums/images/emoticons/biggrin.gif' height='20' width='20' border='0' title='Big Grin' align='absmiddle'> | | | |
|
| | thiskiss
Posts:327
| | 07/11/2007 11:32 PM |
Alert | Useless But Interesting Facts
* Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
* Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
* David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
* Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
* In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
* Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
* February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.
* Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.
* No word in the English language rhymes with month.
* The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
* There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
* Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.
* Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New York City, after the Catholic Church.
* Cat's urine glows under a black light.
* The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.
* Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
* It takes about a half a gallon of water to cook macaroni, and about a gallon to clean the pot.
* In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
* Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
* The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.
* Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously
* If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
* The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
* No NFL team which plays it's home games in a domed stadium has ever won a Superbowl
* The first toilet ever seen on television was on Leave It To Beaver.
* In the great fire of London in 1666 half of London was burnt down but only 6 people were injured
* Lincoln Logs were invented by Frank Lloyd Wright's son.
* One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today because cotton growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers -- they saw it as competition. It is not chemically addictive as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.
* The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the ay after the Major League All-Star Game.
* Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
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|  | playtowin
Posts:50
| | 07/13/2007 12:00 AM |
Alert | | **No NFL team that plays its Home Games in a domed stadium has won a superbowl? I believe the colts play in the RCA Dome and they won the super bowl this season. | | | |
|
| | Azgram01
Posts:270
| | 07/13/2007 6:42 AM |
Alert | A FAIRY TALE
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and the Hunchback of Notre Dame were all talking one day.
Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."
The Hunchback of Notre Dame said, "I absolutely have to be the most disgusting person in the world."
So they all decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and came out looking deliriously happy. "It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world."
Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphantly, "I am now officially the smallest person in the world."
Sometime later, the Hunchback of Notre Dame comes out looking utterly confused and says, "Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell?"
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| | Reagan
Posts:629
| | 07/13/2007 4:52 PM |
Alert | | LMAO | |
Ronald Reagan, 1992 convention Speech, "...we see all that rhetorical smoke, billowing out from the Democrats, well ladies and gentlemen, I'd follow the example of their nominee. Don't inhale.
This fellow they've nominated claims he's the new Thomas Jefferson. Well, let me tell you something. I knew Thomas Jefferson. He was a
friend of mine. And governor, you're no Thomas Jefferson. | |
|
| | vytor
Posts:45
| | 07/14/2007 2:24 AM |
Alert | LOL "Who the hell is Rosie O'Donnell?"
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