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Subject: 7 signs that you're a republican
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drummer72User is Offline

Posts:3626


06/20/2008 12:46 PM Alert 

7 Signs that you’re a Republican

1. You believe that science and math is the “work of the devil” and want to see those subjects banned from our nation’s schools, yet you have no problem believing that the Virgin Mary appears on flour tortillas in Mexico and that this is undisputable “scientific proof” that supports intelligent design “theory”.

2. You have no clue what a scientific theory is.

3. You believe that oral sex is a punishable offense and that a sitting President should be impeached for it, but have no problem with money laundering, corruption, outing a CIA agent, letting 9-11 happen, illegally spying/wiretapping on our own citizens and misleading the nation into a failed war.

4. You believe that Osama Bin Laden is a fictional character concocted by the liberal media in order to make George W. Bush look bad. After all, everybody knows that is was gays and women who somehow blew up the World Trade Center (according to GOP hero Jerry Falwell)

5. You believe that “liberal college professors” are brainwashing America’s youth, but in reality you never even set foot on a 4-year college campus and thus have no idea what you’re talking about.

6. You somehow blame liberals for a “failed education system”, but are at a complete loss to explain how some of the most ultra-conservative Republican states (Alabama, Mississpi, and Georgia) consistenly rank dead last in national literacy tests, and high school students in the most liberal blue states such as Massachusetts and Connecticut rank the highest in national aptitude tests in reading, math, and science.

7. You are too cowardly to enlist in the military, but believe that placing a yellow magnet on your SUV somehow makes you a “patriot

---Watchdog Milwaukee


"Everything for everyone and nothing for ourselves"
JasonYUser is Offline

Posts:2589


06/20/2008 12:56 PM Alert 

Wow, you go a little too far on number 1, 2, and 7..........so I must respond my friend.......


"My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes" -- Lewis Black
drummer72User is Offline

Posts:3626


06/20/2008 1:20 PM Alert 
I didn't make it up.

"Everything for everyone and nothing for ourselves"
JasonYUser is Offline

Posts:2589


06/20/2008 1:35 PM Alert 
"That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves."

--Thomas Jefferson

"My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes" -- Lewis Black
jhallUser is Offline

Posts:1237


06/20/2008 2:01 PM Alert 
Maybe some liberals should take that scientific theory and use it in their experiments on global warming... like including radiation from the sun.

Answer me this liberals... who do you hate more, bush or osama?

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
--Edmund Burke
drummer72User is Offline

Posts:3626


06/20/2008 2:01 PM Alert 
Bush

"Everything for everyone and nothing for ourselves"
JasonYUser is Offline

Posts:2589


06/20/2008 2:04 PM Alert 
"Power is not alluring to pure minds."

--Thomas Jefferson

"My favorite health club is the International House of Pancakes" -- Lewis Black
cavemanUser is Offline

Posts:1078


06/21/2008 7:55 AM Alert 
3, 4, and especially 5 are all too true, good stuff.
regancolston1214User is Offline

Posts:180

06/21/2008 9:43 AM Alert 

WOW..really you dislike Bush more?  Look ,at the time I did have faith in Bush; I don't agree with everything that he has done.  But to say that Bush is the bigger evil is just absurd.  Was it Bush that flew planes into the Twin Towers?  Ahh....No.  Now I know that some are going to come back stating that he knew all about the planned attack.  But remember that your precious, Clinton was the one who really knew everything and chose to ignore it because he was too busy getting his from Monica on the countries dime!!!!!

hastings1066User is Offline

Posts:883


06/21/2008 1:57 PM Alert 

drummer - For the most part your 7 points are simply political hyperbole and not worthy of response. having said that however,items 5 and 7 are so factually incorrect that one must respond to set the record straight.

As to item #5, when the Center for the Study of Popular Culture conducted a study of the political views of the staff of 32 elite colleges, its results were enlightening. When the tenured staff list was compared to the voter registration list it turned out that 1,397 of the staff were Democrats and 134 were Republicans. The breakdown for some of the schools  - Brown 30 to 1, Amherst 18 to 1, Columbia 14 to 1, Yale 12 to 1, and UCLA 12 to 1. From personal experience I can say that if you think that liberal instructors, especially in the humanities, do not push their ideology, then I have some beach front property in Maricopa that I would like to sell you.

As to item #7, a poll of serving military personnel conducted by the Military Times found that 57% of the respondents were Republicans and 13% were Democrats, It seems that your claim the Republicans were too cowardly to serve in the military is incorrect. In fact if we go by the numbers it would seem that it's Democrats who are adverse to going in harms way for their country. This Republican went in the army for three years at 18 and spent  one of those years with the First Field Force in Vietnam. My Republican father spent 20 years in the army and was wounded in both WW II and Korea, and my Republican brother spent 4 years in the Corps. So lets hear no more about Republicans being too cowardly to serve.

BionicbunnyUser is Offline

Posts:594


06/21/2008 4:50 PM Alert 
Drummer, your list is lame.
ReaganUser is Offline

Posts:737


06/21/2008 6:27 PM Alert 
Posted By Bionicbunny on 06/21/2008 4:50 PM
Drummer, your list is lame.



What were you expecting from dummer?  It was just what I was expecting when I opened it up.


Welfare's purpose should be to eliminate, as far as possible, the need for its own existence.

Reagan, Los Angeles Times, January 7, 1970
WompusUser is Offline

Posts:316

06/22/2008 10:16 AM Alert 
This is one of the differences between republicans and democrats. The dig on democrats was funny and light-hearted. The dig on republicans was bitter and hate-filled. How typical.

Even if Churchill didn't really say it, I like the quote attributed to him; If you are young and not a liberal than you have no heart. If you are old and not a republican than you have no brain.

or

DEMOCRAT / SOCIALIST (Same thing these days...)
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. The government takes one and gives it to someone else. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
cavemanUser is Offline

Posts:1078


06/22/2008 11:28 AM Alert 

Posted By Wompus on 06/22/2008 10:16 AM
This is one of the differences between republicans and democrats. The dig on democrats was funny and light-hearted. The dig on republicans was bitter and hate-filled.

You crack me up. You can dish it out but you can't take the heat.

 

WompusUser is Offline

Posts:316

06/22/2008 11:54 AM Alert 
Yikes, is your understanding limited to cave drawings?

I can both dish it out AND take it. I find it funny how hateful the liberal attempt was and how humorous the conservative approach was. Where did I lose you? Try reading both again and tell me they are both purely for humor? Just look at the adjectives... I mean if your speak and spell has working batteries.
RichTigUser is Offline

Posts:0

06/22/2008 4:01 PM Alert 

Here, these are more light-hearted.

 

 

30 Rules for Being a Good Republican

1) Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are a millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness" and needs our prayers for your "recovery."

2) You have to believe that those
privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3) You have to believe that the
US should get out of the UN, and that our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives but it
needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.

5) You have to believe that
pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.

6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Buddha.

7) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.

8) You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of
AIDS victims, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.

9) You hate the ACLU for representing convicted felons, but they owed it to the country to help out
Oliver North, Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Falwell, and other religious organizations.

10) You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while
cutting their VA benefits.

11) You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.

12) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

13) You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.

14) You have to believe that government medicine is wrong and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.

15) You have to believe that
providing health care to all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing health care to all Americans is socialism personified.

16) You believe that
tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science" but Creationism should be taught in schools.

17) You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

18) You have to believe that Saddam was
good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

19) You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

20) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of
Republicans are a "private matter."

21) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to
censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.

22) You support state rights, which means
Ashcroft telling states what locally passed voter initiatives he will allow them to have.

23) You have to believe that what Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest but what Bush did decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant."

24) You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.

25) You have to believe that the rich know what's right, and the poor choose to be poor.

26) You have to believe that hunting is a challenge, but art is a waste of time.

27) You have to believe that money can solve all problems, but education is a waste of money.

28) You have to be against abortion, but
against sex education as well. And welfare for the single moms. And health care for poor families. And taxes for good schools and after-school programs.

29) You have to preach Christian values while
promoting capital punishment.

30) You have to believe that the AIDS virus can be cured by ignoring it.


31) You have to believe it was appropriate to execute the Mentally Retarded as Governor of Texas but the 30 month sentence of a convicted liar was "too excessive".

32) You have to believe that what
William Jefferson did was outrageous but somehow ignore Jack Abramoff, Duke Cunningham, Bob Ney, Mark Foley, and other Republicans because its not that bad.

33) You have to believe that there is a
Fourth Branch of government consisting solely of Dick Cheney.

34) You have to believe that
Bill O'Reilly is "fair and balanced" but Dan Rather is horribly biased.

35) You have to denounce the
mainstream media as leftist propaganda that must be stopped but celebrate the conservative leanings of talk radio as the triumph of capitalism.

cavemanUser is Offline

Posts:1078


06/22/2008 4:10 PM Alert 
Damn rich you are the man.
WompusUser is Offline

Posts:316

06/22/2008 7:54 PM Alert 
LOL

Asking him to the DNC ball are we?

Sorry must have yawned.....
MaricopaknifeUser is Offline

Posts:37


06/22/2008 9:15 PM Alert 

Sily Wompus, The DNC doesen't have balls.

asugrlUser is Offline

Posts:583

06/22/2008 9:42 PM Alert 
Posted By Maricopaknife on 06/22/2008 9:15 PM

Sily Wompus, The DNC doesen't have balls.

lulz.

 

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Forums > General Discussion > Politics > 7 signs that you're a republican



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