Mommystacey
Posts:184
 | | 09/24/2007 8:44 PM |
 Alert | | My son is almost 1 year old and I have always given the baths and put him to bed. My in laws are comming to town and said that they want to watch him while my husbend and I go to dinner for our aniversary. I am torn when people want to do things with my son because I want them to have special times with him however I feel quilty that I am not the one doing everything with him and that I need to be with him every chance I get. I know this all sounds strange but I was wondering if anyone else has this issue? I quess I just dont know when to let go a little bit. | | | |
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Judit
Posts:206
| | 09/24/2007 9:13 PM |
Alert | I totally understand what u r going through! BUT YOU HAVE TO LET IT GO!!!!!!!
You can not be there always, I tried and sometimes still try to do everything with him. ( He is almost 16 mos) but I needed to realize that he will be fine if not EVERYHTING will go in the same order or the same way as I do it!!
HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!! Maybe just ask them to call u that he is asleep or fine. That helped me <img src='http://www.85239.com/desktopmodules/ntforums/images/emoticons/smile.gif' height='20' width='20' border='0' title='Smile' align='absmiddle'> <img src='http://www.85239.com/desktopmodules/ntforums/images/emoticons/wink.gif' height='20' width='20' border='0' title='Wink' align='absmiddle'>
ENJOY YOUR TIME WITH YOUR HUBBY!!!!!!!! | |
Old Username: JKH200405 | |
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drummer72
Posts:3641
| | 09/24/2007 9:35 PM |
Alert | | I have that issue with our daughter. I totally understand... | |
"Everything for everyone and nothing for ourselves" | |
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phxgirl
Posts:227
| | 09/24/2007 9:41 PM |
Alert | | I would enjoy your time with your hubby. I totally savor the moments we get alone or out ! Trust me, unless you are doing it on a day by day basis you have no reason to feel guilty. It will also make grandpa and grandma very happy <img src='http://www.85239.com/desktopmodules/ntforums/images/emoticons/smile.gif' height='20' width='20' border='0' title='Smile' align='absmiddle'> | | | |
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Cruzin
Posts:136
| | 09/25/2007 7:01 AM |
Alert | | DH has this issue more than me, especially surrounding bedtimes. Maybe you could have a lunch date the first time to settle the anxiety. The first time we let a teen put DD to bed she went to sleep with 3 mardi gras beads on and DH about had a heart attack that she could have strangled. We are getting better and our kids are 2 and 4, but it is always hard. You need time with DH, but baybe a compromise is in order. | | | |
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regancolston1214
Posts:180
| | 09/25/2007 7:11 AM |
Alert | | I used to feel the same way as you with my boys. I have a 12 and a 2 year old. I am home with them both everyday, (I home school the 12 year old). I would even get upset if my hubby would mess up "our" routine. Now I am begging someone to watch them so I can get out of the house with my hubby or better yet ALL BY MYSELF!!! When I do leave the boys, the best time is when I come home because my boys come running up to me yelling " Mommy's Home, Mommy's Home!" It is the sweetest thing to see and hear. | | | |
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hendersona
Posts:397
| | 09/25/2007 8:38 AM |
Alert | | You need to learn that you and your husband should come first in your mariage. If your child grows up not seeing you to in love than he woun't now what a good realtionship looks like | | | |
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MommaToni
Posts:1045
| | 09/25/2007 5:41 PM |
Alert | I totally understand...my daughter was 2 before I went out without her. She has never gone todaycare or a sitter. I have left her with my mom 2 times (she is now 3) and my SIL once. Any time I have "girls night out" I leave her with the hubby and vice versa. She started preschool this year and it was a HUGE shock leaving her even if it is only for 3 hours.....being like this I am starting to realize that we need our time to ourselves and also with our husbands to make us happy and feel whole. If you don't get it it will take it's toll on you and your child will sense it.
It is wonderful that you are that close with your child. I am the same with my daughter. She's my Polly Pocket. haha It is hard to let someone else care for them. if anything just go down the street.... I still won't go out of Maricopa if she is in school. | |
Ppppppbbbbbbssssssssssttttttttt! | |
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AuntieAnn
Posts:213
| | 09/25/2007 6:12 PM |
Alert | | I completely understand! My daughter is 1 year old also and I just started to go out with DH and leave her with my mom. I had a friend that NEVER went out with her husband alone and now 5 years later they are getting the Big D! Once I heard that I started to put my marriage first again. | | | |
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Jmatt
Posts:11
| | 09/25/2007 9:06 PM |
Alert | | It is wonderful that you are so close to your son and are such a good mom. It is hard to leave them, but the best thing you can do for your baby is to have a good relationship with his dad. It is important because if makes your baby feel secure and since the ultimate goal as a mom is to raise your child into a strong independent adult that means someday they will leave you and venture out on their own and you will still have your husband by your side! Not to mention that getting out once in a while is good for you. It will also teach your baby at an early age to deal with other people and will make the transition into school easier for everyone. Your in-laws will love you too because you have trusted them and given them the opportunity to bond with your son also. Good luck! | | | |
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Mommystacey
Posts:184
| | 09/25/2007 9:16 PM |
Alert | | Thank you everyone for understanding what I am going through. It is so hard to let him grow up. I know that I am suposed to teach him to be independent and all but I feel like it is happing to fast. I dont know if I can do it yet but I know I need to. I know that one time I went with my husbend to dinner with out my boy for like two hours and we had fun but that was during the day and not at night when we really spend good time together. I feel like I will be missing out or something even for that one time. I feel selfsh for going out with out him and having a good time while he is going to bed with someone other than me. I am not sure what to do I know I sound crazy. But thanks again everyone!!!!! | | | |
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Bionicbunny
Posts:596
| | 09/25/2007 9:54 PM |
Alert | | So why can't you just give him a bath, put him to bed, THEN go out? If your inlaws want to spend awake time with him, have them watch him again the next afternoon while you two go out again! Everybody wins! |
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Mommystacey
Posts:184
| | 09/25/2007 10:08 PM |
Alert | | I thought about that but my family is telling me that I need to let other people do things with him. | | | |
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pandak1
Posts:164
| | 09/26/2007 2:04 AM |
Alert | I totally understand your fears. There are nights when all I want to do is escape my children and then when I actually jet out of the house when my DH comes home...all I think about is how I didn't kiss my 3-yr-old goodnight. Still, despite those feelings, I know that I am only as good a mom as I am an individual. I have to make sure that I take care of me...that I remember that I was Amanda long before I was Mama. I also TOTALLY agree with hendersona. I have a MA in Marital & Family Therapy and one of the things I learned is that your marriage and the health of your relationship with your spouse/sig-other is the MOST important relationship in the home. It is the core of the system and if it is left unnurturted, that will leave marks on all the family members.
Have faith that your baby boy will think of you as he is falling asleep, knowing how much you love him, and when he wakes he will have one more piece of proof that Mommy always comes home to her little one.
At night when I sneak into my boy's room after a 40 minute stroll around Fry's to get out of the house, I always fight the desire to scoop him up and kiss him all over. I know though that that 40 minutes refreshed me to greet his little face (and his antics) in the morning. | | | |
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Mommystacey
Posts:184
| | 09/26/2007 9:01 PM |
Alert | | Thanks that stuff helps!!! | | | |
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Bionicbunny
Posts:596
| | 09/27/2007 9:50 AM |
Alert | <div class='NTForums_Quote'>Posted By Mommystacey on 09/25/2007 10:08 PM
I thought about that but my family is telling me that I need to let other people do things with him.</div>
Other people can do things with him, but you are his mom so you get to say what those things are. If bedtime is special between the two of you, it doesn't hurt anyone if you keep that time special. Don't feel pressured, they grow up waaaayyyyy too fast as it is and you will be able to look back on bath/bedtime and remember how it was so special, just with you. There are a million other things your inlaws can do with him. | | | |
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"JustJodi"
Posts:617
| | 09/27/2007 10:15 AM |
Alert | | Boy I am taking my own BIG STEP TODAY. I am actually letting my neighbor pick up my girl from kinder!!! I KNOW she will have fun, but even at almost 5 she is MY BABY! I have done everything with her and for her, so even this is HARD!!! | |
Senior Member
Posts: 3899
Joined: Jan 2006 | |
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Mommystacey
Posts:184
| | 09/27/2007 8:12 PM |
Alert | | I cant even begin to imagine letting my baby go to school that will be soooo hard!!! | | | |
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