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| | Author | Messages | |
Phantom78
Posts:232
 | | 07/31/2007 11:33 AM |
 Alert | For the men of our community...In preparation of Walmarts opening!
After Mr. & Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring & preferred to get in & get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department & told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera & used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the " Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!" And last, but not least.
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
Regards, Wal-Mart
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It’s not a glass half full (optimism) or a glass half empty (pessimism)—it’s half of a glass of water (reality). Expend your energy and mental capacity on something worthwhile!
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| | starlightwolf
Posts:41
| | 08/01/2007 2:43 PM |
Alert | | oh my that is soo funny! thanks for posting it | | | |
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| | TortosaGuy
Posts:692
| | 08/01/2007 3:17 PM |
Alert | | that was hilarious | |
*formerly known as inyrfce2*
Senior Member
Posts: 797
Joined: Dec 2006 | |
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| | AmyB1
Posts:611
| | 08/01/2007 3:24 PM |
Alert | this made me laugh.... and then feel a little guilty....
i have been known to put random embarassing items in strangers carts when they aren't looking...
I have put condoms, Preparation H, Summer's Eve, and Fleet enema's in folks carts periodically....
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I am channeling my "inner cougar"..... | |
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| | Sinbad
Posts:3046
| | 08/01/2007 3:26 PM |
Alert | That was some funny stuff there..
LOL
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Just doing it one day at a time. Change is good and it should be looked upon as an improvment! not a problem.
______________________________________
***************************************
San Diego Super Chargers! GO!!!
Joined old forum March 2006
Post count: 3068 + these | |
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| | Azgram01
Posts:284
| | 08/01/2007 4:17 PM |
Alert | This brings back memories of my grandfather!!
Thanks.  | | | |
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|  | The Local Inspector
Posts:62
| | 08/01/2007 7:11 PM |
Alert | | Awesome! This gives me all sorts of ideas for the next time I go to Wal-Mart! | |
Shannon Amos
National Property Inspections (NPI)
Office: 520-208-2590 / Cell: 480-459-0655
Call me if you are building, or before your warranty expires! See my website and coupon in the business section, under Home Inspection.
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| | Ratboy
Posts:0
| | 08/01/2007 7:14 PM |
Alert | | Shannon I was thinking the same thing | | | |
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