This is an open email to all residence of Homestead, but it is directed mostly to the inhabitants of Thornberry Rd. Every Tuesday and Friday I turn down your road to leave and go about my day, and every Tuesday and Friday i am met with a gauntlet of trash and recycling cans strewn about the street. At first I was angry with the waste managment people, I though to myself, (SELF "how inconsiderate that our local waste managment professionals would empty the trash and then just leave the cans in the road, dont they know this is a hazard?", but with further investigation i discovered to my dismay that in fact it was not the garbage men at all....it is acctually you, the resident who is purposefully placing your cans in the road, instead of on the sideway, which is the rightful home of all garbage cans waiting to be emptied. So now for several weeks i have tried to ignore your inconsiderate and selfish ways, but last night was the last straw. OPEN SCENE: Its very dark and there is a screaming baby in the backseat, and a bleary eyed mother at the wheel. I was driving down your street at about 11 at night, when to my horror your trashcan was directly, and inexplicably in the path of my vehicle, literally having been placed 2-3 feet into the road (that is intended to be used by motor vehicles...but I digress). As a homeowner on this street im sure you are aware that Thornberry is a very poorly lit road, therefore i was forced in my already tired and frazzled state (I was already having a rough day, this is not your fault) to swerve to avoid hitting your inappropriately place trash recepticle (this is your fault). CLOSE SCENE: The virginal ears of a sweet babe are sullied by much anger and cursing. So here it is, after many weeks of frustration and stiffled ire i have finally had enough. Henceforth, If you refuse to find a more approprate resting spot for your yet to be emptied trash/recycling can, dont be surprised to find that it may have suffured a horrible and untimely fate, as I can no longer garantee that your trash/recycling can will not have an unfortunate run-in with my Sports Utility Vehicle. And though the very thought of "accidentally" comitting detriticide sends shivers down my spine,dont say I didnt warn you. Sincerely, Your Neighbor P.S. Happy upcoming Easter |